I sat across from my 18-year-old niece last week, as she told me her frustration with other girls talking bad about each other.

“I just don’t get it,” she said, “you don’t know what they’re going through. What kind of pain they’re in. It’s easy to make judgments. I try really hard to never talk bad about anyone.”

My response was, “All you can do when people do that, is remember that their hatefulness reflects their own pain and insecurity.” Her response. “Yeah, but it’s still shitty.”

I agreed. “It is shitty and it hurts. Especially if you’re the one they’re gossiping about.” I asked her, “What do you do when people are being unkind about others?” Her response. “I don’t know. I just keep being nice.”

My heart filled up in that moment, because that’s the hardest choice. The choice to not fall into the trap of being cruel and catty, but instead choosing to be kind. The kind girl isn’t always the most popular, but she wins. Why? Because when she lays her head down at night, her conscious is clear. We all know that guilty feeling of when you said something you shouldn’t have. Mean doesn’t feel good. It’s a trap to expose our own pain.

Imagine a world where women all lifted each other up. Where the statement, ‘women love to gossip,’ wasn’t a label put on our heads. In that world women would be unstoppable. All of us cheering each other on. Understanding we’re all humans fighting battles every day and we NEED each other. We need each other to grow. To heal. To exceed in a world that continues to want to keep us small.  It’s our job as women to make each other feel fierce and unstoppable. A Vagina Camaraderie is the idea I’m fighting for. It’s awesome to find out that my 18-year-old niece in Colorado is fighting for the same thing.