Biking my way out of Depression

It’s March 2015, my husband’s alarm goes off. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I’ve just returned from two months’ home with my Mom after her first mastectomy. My day to day life helping her heal was packed.  Now I lay in bed with a cloud of depression. I finally have time to digest everything that’s happened.  I don’t have to put on a brave face for my mom this morning, so instead I’ll just lay here. I feel alone. In my mind no one understands. Everyone has moved on with their happy lives, meanwhile my mom is fighting for her life, and I’ve never felt more lost. Than the phone rings and it’s my friend Kelle.

“Hey Rach, welcome back! Want to go for a bike ride?”

“Sure.” I reply.

At 9am Kelle drives 45 minutes in LA traffic to ride bikes with me. We ride along the coast and she tells me all the gossip I’ve missed. But mainly comforts me with the Idea that I’ve missed nothing. She doesn’t push me to talk about my mom. But I know she’s there to listen when I do.

In the next year, I will go home a lot for my mom’s cancer, and every time I return Kelle calls for a bike ride.

Kelle didn’t know it. But those bike rides healed me. She healed me. She went from being a work friend to one of my very best friends. Kelle didn’t wait for my call to say that I was lonely, and depressed. She knew I was going through something hard, so she simply showed up.

So often when we’re in our lowest moments we don’t have the energy to ask for help. Kelle taught me what it means to be an intuitive friend. She was there for me purely on her instinct that I needed her to be.  Considering recent events, I’m reminded the importance of being there for each other. Not only when someone asks for help, but more importantly when they don’t.

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4 thoughts on “Biking my way out of Depression

  1. How beautiful and so simple. Just show up. Please keep writing. Keep sharing your thoughts, Rachel. They are inspired and healing.
    Love,
    maggie

  2. Sobbing!!!! So glad that you have a friend like Kelle. Glad that you finally got this off your chest. I know it’s hard to process sometimes, but we are ever healing creatures, even when we don’t know it. Last year was a tough year for me and I wish I had a Kelle,…but guys are different. They don’t ask or tell. Like you, I channel it through writing. Thanks for sharing this. Much love! JL

    1. Thank you James. It really is hard to share these things. I sobbed as I wrote it. But you’re right we are healing creatures. I know you’ve been through it the last year. Big Hugs. We have lots to catch up on. Miss you.

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