..learning to enjoy the journey, the detours, the process

As I packed my things in New York to move to LA four months ago, my mom flew out from Denver to help my unorganized self, get organized for the big move. The only thing I couldn’t seem to really part with were all my acting notes, class work sheets, and scripts from college. As I kept looking through them… trying to downsize five binders to three. I couldn’t help but ask myself why am I having such a hard time parting from all this paper?

It’s been a few years since I graduated with a BFA in acting. Something even though many of us scoff at our theater major degrees now, I am still very proud of. It was the one time in my life I ate, slept, and breathed acting. My eagerness to be out working pulsated through every inch of my body. I forget that, I know a lot of us do. That we started doing this because we love it. As I unpacked in my new LA home, I again found myself re reading my hopeful actor notes. Here are some of them:

-Never feel sorry for yourself

-Actors are athletes of the heart

-First I honor life and with it my life in the theater.

-Don’t give them all the control… remember they want it to be you.

-All of us have experienced every feeling there is to feel. Everyone has every character in them…the goal is to find them

-Remember to Listen, Obstacles, BE SPECIFIC

-It’s Discovery over Decision

-Never count Residuals, count days you work

-Play the solution, don’t play the problem.

-Be Fearless

-Live every day hungry to learn more

When I decided to be an actor I had a very distinct idea where I thought I would be at this point in my career. I had created this timeline, and as fall approaches, a new school year begins, it always seems to be a time of reflection for me, and I’m usually left with a feeling of disappointment. I start the spiral of comparing, and self loathing. The feeling of, I thought for sure I would be much further along at this point. Not recognizing, or celebrating my journey, the detours, the exciting, and hilarious things I’ve done this past year.

So for a change I’m going to allow myself to say it, to be happy for my small achievements. I shot another great season of Temp life. I got to be apart of the amazing Leap Year cast. I learned a lot about movies shooting movie line trivia. Hell I even interviewed Kim Kardashian at fashion week! But most importantly this year I up and moved my whole life to LA, leaving behind everything that felt comfortable to start a whole new journey. For the first time I am going to allow myself to believe that this might actually be exactly where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. I dare you to do the same 🙂

With Love,

Rachel